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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200594">afterward</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vadeofspades/pseuds/vadeofspades'>vadeofspades</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The State of Our Affairs - Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood &amp; Manga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Roy Mustang, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hospitalization, I can't help it, Not Really Character Death, Post-Promised Day, Royai - Freeform, again yes, another episode of i love kain fuery way too much</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:20:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,240</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vadeofspades/pseuds/vadeofspades</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The celebratory moments just after the fight had ended on the Promised Day seemed as if they would never end, triumph permeating through the hearts of anyone who had fought on that day. But most of all, Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye, who's exhaustion had both decided to catch up with them. </p><p>And then the courtyard went quiet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The State of Our Affairs - Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>afterward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello once again! i promise i'm gonna move out of writing JUST roy and riza in the hospital just after promised day, i just LOVE that setting and it makes for such good ideas. this one is a LOT sadder than my other fics, but there are wholesome moments near the end to make up for it. i hope you enjoy! </p><p>also this isn't SUPPOSED to be a precursor to the other fics i've written with them, just to let you know!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The triumphant cries of Amestrian soldiers rang out across the scene. The fight was won, the Elrics were a physical duo once again. The Homunculi were reduced to no more than molecules, dust to be swept away during the reconstruction of Central. The world seemed to spin a little quicker as victory swept through the hearts of everyone who fought that perilous fight.</p><p>Though Roy Mustang couldn’t see the smiles of the officers under his command, he felt the radiation of their happiness as strong as his own. It was as if he could hear Riza Hawkeye’s heartbeat out of her chest as she stood by his side, her excitement spreading to him as she led him across the grounds, celebrating their defeat of those who had tortured them both for so long. He had never been as he was now happy, not in his entire life. </p><p>For a moment, there was peace. But just as everything did in Roy’s life, it only lasted for a moment. </p><p>“Hey, Colonel?” Riza stopped in her tracks, halted by a sudden feeling of unease. </p><p>Roy froze. He sensed her shift in demeanor and focused his attention on Riza. “What’s wrong, Lieutenant?” he asked, scared by how she might respond.</p><p>Riza let out a shaky breath and reached for Roy. She collapsed against him. Her eyes fluttered open and shut as she struggled to speak, desperately fighting for the ability to speak. Blood spewed from her lips. She clung to her colonel with all of her dying strength, trembling as her body gave away to weakness. </p><p>“I promise,” Riza spoke, her voice muffled by the thickness of blood pouring from her mouth. She wrapped her arms around him as they dropped to the ground. “I’m not going-” she choked but didn’t lose her sentence, “- to break your order.”</p><p>Roy found her face with his hands, frantically wiping the blood away from around her mouth as tears welled in his eyes. He wanted to reassure her of her life, tell her she’d live through this, but every sign from her body, every code he had learned to decipher from her being, said she wouldn’t. He couldn’t lie to her now, not as everything she couldn’t say was telling him the truth. </p><p>“You can rest now, Riza. You’ve followed my orders long enough.”</p><p>As her eyes shut, his name fell from her lips, and Roy knew, by her final code, she would be at peace. </p><p>He took her hand into his, bringing her close to his chest as she ceased to tremble. He listened as her heart rate fell to nothing, and she took her last breath. She offered no secret for him to learn, no signs for him to read. Roy swaddled her in his black jacket, tightening the garment around her body. </p><p>The only thing that rang out across the fallen courtyard of Central Command, was silence. The world, though quick had it spun, seemed to stop turning when Riza Hawkeye collapsed on the battlefield. </p><p>Roy held in his sobs as he rose from the ground, the body of Riza Hawkeye tightly held against his own. He brought her hair from off her shoulders to keep it from matting in with the blood.</p><p>“Sir,” Kain Fuery addressed Roy, standing before the man with a salute. He extended his hand to help the man. “There is an ambulance ready for Lieutenant Hawkeye.” His voice shook as he spoke, and Roy knew he was holding back tears. </p><p>Roy trudged toward Kain’s voice, stopping when he felt the man’s outstretched hand against his side. “Lead me there, Sergeant Fuery.” </p><p>“Yes, sir.” Kain guided Roy to the ambulance as soldiers watched the somber scene from around them. </p><p>Roy knew Ed and Al were in the crowd, as well as Major Armstrong, Maria Ross, Rebecca Catalina. He couldn’t bring himself to ask anyone else for help, not after all they had done for him today, and all days prior. He regretted Kain asking for help, though he knew he would not reach the ambulance without a guide, without Riza to lead him down the straightaway.</p><p>But Riza, in her state, could no longer help him see. </p><p>“You’re a strong man, Fuery,” Roy said as they stepped into the ambulance, his arms growing weaker by the second. “Thank you.” </p><p>“Colonel Mustang, will you let the medic take the Lieutenant? They need to get you and you and her both to the hospital as soon as possible,” Fuery asked, standing before the man. The medic soldier stood by his side, patient for the Colonel’s answer. </p><p>Roy adjusted Riza in his arms to where both of his arms supported her. She laid limp in his arms, her eyes shut as the blood dripped down her chin. He held her out for the medic to take. </p><p>“Please be careful with my lieutenant.” </p><p>Kain closed the ambulance doors tightly and helped the medic place Riza on a hospital bed, and Roy fell to the floor, the strength in his legs finally giving out. He laid against the wall of the ambulance and as he chanted “she’s gone” under his breath, he succumbed to his exhaustion unlike ever before. The sound of the ambulance sirens faded from his ears as tears rolled down his cheeks.</p><p>The rest was a blur. </p><p>~~~</p><p>Roy awoke in an unfamiliar environment, though his sight was still shrouded with darkness. He sat up, swallowing as he attempted to define his surroundings. He felt a familiar tightness on his arm, an intravenous tube at the bend of his elbow. His hands were bandaged, and his clothes had changed. The smell of disinfectant and antiseptics filled the room, and he realized he was in the hospital. </p><p>His mind went to Riza, and tears filled his eyes. He still felt her blood on his shirt, between his fingers as he wiped it away from her mouth. He remembered his name on her lips just before she took her last breath, how much he wanted to hear her say it again. He wanted to feel her again. He would die to be with her once more. </p><p>Roy Mustang wanted Riza Hawkeye more than he wanted to live. </p><p>“Permission to speak freely, sir.” It was Kain Fuery. </p><p>Roy nodded, not missing a beat. “Permission granted.” </p><p>“It’s good to see you are awake, Colonel Mustang. “You passed out on the floor of the ambulance and the medics weren’t sure if you were going to wake up. Your heart rate got so low, nothing they could do could bring it up. It was almost as if it was refusing to.” </p><p>“Is that so?” Roy said and quickly wiped his tears at the sound of Kain’s voice, careful not to cave to his sadness. “And how is Lieutenant Hawkeye?” </p><p>He knew the answer when Kain hesitated. </p><p>“Well, they think the cause of her sudden weakness was from a blood clot and the internal bleeding in her throat caused her to choke and lose so much blood.” </p><p>“Is she alive, Sergeant Fuery?” </p><p><i>Why do I ask when I know the answer?</i>	</p><p>“They managed to pump the blood out of her lungs and stop her trachea from bleeding after getting into surgery. She stopped breathing and heart rate had fallen, but once she returned to breathing they couldn’t consider her clinically dead any longer. They managed to get her heart rate up before they did yours, actually.” </p><p>
  <i>I heard her take her last breath. </i>
</p><p>“What are you saying?” </p><p>“I’m saying that Lieutenant Hawkeye is stable. She’s in the intensive care unit at the moment until they can take her for one more surgery to remove the blood clot before it does any more damage and reconstruct any damage done to her trachea. She’s gonna be alright, Colonel Mustang.” </p><p>
  <i>She’s alive. My lieutenant, my Riza, is alive.</i>
</p><p>Roy fought back his tears as he trembled. “When can I visit her?” he asked, letting out a breath as he processed all this information. </p><p>“Let the nurses come by and check you out, and I’ll ask if you can walk down to that unit. I’m sure they’ll let you as long as I can go with you,” Kain answered and sighed. “Is there anything else I can do, sir?” </p><p>Roy pushed his hair off his forehead, wiping his eyes with his hands as he brought them back down. “Can you bring me Ishvalan textbooks, writings, just anything about the country of Ishval? I need to start studying.”</p><p>“Of course, Colonel Mustang. I'll have Breda and Falmans bring over everything they can from Central Command. It’s been a couple of days so we should have access to the libraries.” Kain flipped open a notepad and made a reminder of Roy's task, though he knew he wouldn’t forget. </p><p>The room was silent for a while, both of them unaware of where to take the conversation. </p><p>“After I got in the ambulance, what happened?” Roy spoke up. </p><p>Kain placed his notepad off to the side. “You collapsed against the wall and lost consciousness pretty quickly, muttering something about how the Lieutenant was gone, it was no use and such. You were in quite a haze, sir.” </p><p>
  <i>Is that why I thought I lost her? </i>
</p><p>Roy nodded. “I understand. I just have one last question.” </p><p>“Yes, sir?” </p><p>“How long was I out?” Roy braced himself for the answer.</p><p>Kain checked his watch. “I’d say about a day and a half. They only just moved you to a normal unit a couple of hours ago, when you finally stabilized. The nurses asked me to stay until you woke up and said they’d be coming around to check on you at the top of every hour. It’s about three minutes until four o’clock.”</p><p>“Alright.” </p><p>So Roy waited, counting the seconds with taps against his legs. 180 had never been such a large number, and three minutes had never felt more like three hours. He wondered if he’d ever get to see Riza again, her deep-set brown eyes or her golden hair that he so dearly loved to admire. He didn’t want his final memory of her appearance to be soaked in blood at the feet of the Homunculi.</p><p>And then the door opened, knocking Roy out of the yearful memory of his lieutenant. He sat upright and waited for whoever entered the room to speak. </p><p>“How are you feeling, Mister Mustang?” the nurse asked politely as she closed the door behind herself. “I see you are sitting up just fine. My name is Gina and I’m the nurse assigned to you and Miss Hawkeye.” </p><p>Roy nodded. “I’m feeling well, ma’am. I woke up about ten minutes ago. Sergeant Fuery explained everything to me, about what happened after Lieutenant Hawkeye and I were transported here.” </p><p>“Kain told me you’d want to see her,” the nurse explained, care in her voice as she stepped further into the room. “Miss Hawkeye will be going into surgery in about ten to fifteen minutes to remove a blood clot and for any reconstruction needed in her neck. It’ll probably be another six to eight hours before she’s fully conscious again.” </p><p>Roy’s heart leaped in his chest at the prospect of getting to speak with Riza, even just for a few moments. “Please, if I can, let me be with her before she is taken for surgery. I’ll sleep through the eight hours, ma’am, but I need to see my lieutenant.” </p><p>
  <i>To confirm she’s alive, that I was mistaken. </i>
</p><p>“Of course, Mister Mustang,” Gina replied. “ I’m sure Miss Hawkeye would be happy to see you. I’ll get a wheelchair and roll you down.” </p><p>“Oh, I don’t-” </p><p>The nurse interjected, “Yes you do, Mister Mustang. You just woke up from being unconscious for over forty hours, so I don’t intend to let you walk on your own. Kain, will you hold the door so I can get the wheelchair in?” </p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Kain replied and held the door wide open for the nurse</p><p>Gina pushed the wheelchair between the two beds. She escorted Roy by the arm into the chair, much to his dismay, and rolled him out of the hospital room as Kain followed close behind. </p><p>“Thank you so much, ma’am,” Roy spoke, sincerity bleeding through his voice as he was transported down a hallway, taking a right at where he assumed to be the end of a corridor. His hands ached as every muscle in his body tensed, for he could smell the scents of antiseptics strengthening as they descended further into the hospital. </p><p>The nurse took another turn. “Now Mister Mustang, Miss Hawkeye won’t be able to talk much. She’s under strict orders of vocal rest before her surgery. She gets five minutes, total. If you need Kain to read out things he writes down, I’m sure he won’t mind.” </p><p>“I understand. But why are you on a first-name basis with Sergeant Fuery?” Roy asked, rapping his fingers against the arm of his wheelchair.</p><p>Kain chuckled. “Gina’s my baby sister. Sometimes she forgets to call me Sergeant when I’m with my superiors.” </p><p>“There are no titles with me, Kain. I don’t call my patients by their titles unless they ask. They aren’t supposed to think about the military if they’re in the hospital, it’s what got them here in the first place,” she explained, quiet for a moment as they continued down the hallway. “Oh, we’re here.” She stopped and had Kain open another door after she knocked, pushing Roy through as he did so.</p><p>“You’ve got a visitor, Miss Hawkeye,” she said, the kindness in her voice increased. “I brought Mister Mustang down to see you. Would you like me to prop you up on a pillow?”</p><p>Riza nodded, her focus shifting fully to Roy. She rested against the pillow the nurse provided, eyes wide as she watched Roy be rolled to her side. She looked at his sightless eyes and pain struck her heart, flooded with memories of the Promised Day. </p><p>The door clicked shut, and it was just them. </p><p>“It’s good to see you, Lieutenant,” was all Roy could muster until his thinly veiled veneer of composure shattered before her, and he sobbed. His breath caught in his throat as tears streamed from his eyes, his hands trembling as he attempted to wipe his cheeks, though his hand was seized by Riza. </p><p>She took his hand into hers and calmed the steady tremble with her grasp, She sent a wave of relief through him as she ran her fingers across his bandaged hand, lightly grazing her fingers against the place where she knew his wounds lied. </p><p>“It’s alright,” she whispered softly, careful not to strain her vocal cords, though her voice filled the silence of the hospital room. Riza gazed at the man through tired eyes, bringing her free hand to his cheek to wipe his eyes. “It’s alright.” </p><p>Roy leaned down and laid against the bed as Riza ran her hand through his hair, brushing through knots of his jet black locks with her fingers. He winced whenever she would pull through one, but relaxed as she proceeded to stroke his scalp after knowing she tugged a bit too much. </p><p>“You died in my arms, Riza,” he cried and moved from the wheelchair to her side, resting his head on her chest as he cradled against her body. “I didn’t pick up on any of your signals. I listened for your heartbeat and it wasn’t there.” </p><p>Riza shook her head. “I was too weak to give them,” she paused, taking a deep breath, “and you were too weak to receive them. You can’t-” another pause, this time she swallowed before she spoke, “-give up on me, or yourself, that easily.” </p><p>Her gown was wrinkled and damp from his sobs and tight grasps as Roy listened to her steady heartbeat from beneath her chest, further confirming to him that she was so very alive. If it wasn’t for her surgery, he would have fallen asleep in her embrace, titles, and the military be damned. This was, once again, another moment he didn’t want to end. Another moment of peace that he wouldn’t object to it being his last. </p><p>“I won’t,” Roy whispered in response, pressing a kiss to the skin of her chest, just above the collar of her gown. “I promise.” </p><p>“Will you kiss me again?”</p><p>Roy nodded. He found his strength and swung his legs over her body, sitting upright around her waist. “Are you comfortable?” </p><p>“I am,” Riza managed and looked up at Roy. “But, Roy-” she trailed off, remembering the rules about her voice.</p><p>“I’m not going to do anything. We don’t have the time, and this isn’t the place. I just want you to be comfortable while I kiss your chest, but only if you want me to of course,” Roy explained and leaned down again, his hands finding her face and bringing it into his hands. </p><p>Riza leaned into his hands. She wanted to be kissed by him, be held by him, be pleased by him even, but not in this hospital bed. She didn’t want that memory to fade as soon as she went under the knife. “Not right now. But afterward.” </p><p>Roy understood. “Alright. But for good luck-” he pressed a kiss to her cheek and smiled. He returned to the side of the bed and moved back into the wheelchair once again, taking her hand into his. “I’ll be ready and waiting for when you get out of recovery, okay?” </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>A knock came from behind the door, and it eased open as Gina stepped inside, shutting the door behind herself. </p><p>“The doctors are ready for you, Miss Hawkeye. Are you ready as well?” she said and eased to the side of the bed, her hands gripped on the handles of Roy’s wheelchair. </p><p>Riza squeezed Roy’s hand lightly and exhaled. “Yes, ma’am.” She smiled at Roy. </p><p>Though Roy couldn’t see it, he sensed her smile, and he returned with his own, following it up with the squeeze of her hand. </p><p>“In the morning, Lieutenant?”</p><p>“Yes, Colonel.” </p><p>Gina escorted Roy from Riza’s room and handed him over to her brother. “Take him on while I handle Miss Hawkeye, Kain. I’ll be right there when I’m finished.” </p><p>Kain pushed him along the path they took, quiet for the first couple of moments as they made their way through the corridors of the hospital. </p><p>“How is she, Colonel Mustang?” Kain asked, finally breaking their silence. </p><p>Roy struggled to find words to answer Kain’s question, but as they turned down the hallway to the main wing, he managed a response. </p><p>“Alive, and trying to be well.” </p><p>~~~ </p><p>Roy awoke to darkness and the familiar pull of an intravenous line in his arm, the chill of the hospital engulfing his skin once again. But unlike his first awakening, there was a warm presence radiating from across the room, and the soft sound of fingers rustling against pages of a book.</p><p>“Riza?” His use of her name seemed to fall from his lips without thought. He didn’t know what actions he would take if it wasn’t her. “Is that you, Lieutenant?” </p><p>The room was quiet.</p><p>“Yes,” her voice was weak, low from her side of the room. She hesitated to rest her voice, but unsure of the words she wished to speak. </p><p>“It’s afterward, Roy.”</p><p>Roy’s chest swole with want. “It is, isn’t it?” </p><p>“Will you kiss me again?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>don't worry, it hurt me too. and i know there was less of their relationship than there was in my other fics but this STILL managed to be my longest one for them yet. but there will be more to come, be on the lookout! </p><p>i do hope you enjoyed, leave a comment if you did! i love getting them &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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